What is it about me that makes it so easy to lie to? So easy to hide and keep things from? The books I've read, movies, stories and music have pointed to truth as being the best possible outcome for any situation. I agreed. Ive loved and lost. Listened and spoke to. Traveled and stayed put. The falsities have followed me to everywhere. Why? Why is it that my strong moral base and character is championed and sought out by those to falsify their life? NOSH NOSH NOSH NOSH NOSH NOSH.

This was going nowhere but down. Allow me to pep it up. How? Well lets see where we go.

I understand the borders of the land, the open hand and the sky so grand.
What I fail to see, is why we think we are free or the real strangers to me.
Hand in the front,Knife in the back
Quite a cowardly attack
While I have fallen at every blow
I chose to stand right back up and grow.
Or is that true?
Do I fail to see the stranger in you?
Am I a fool for camaraderie?
A bro grab or false honesty?
I seek the truths in all your eyes.
I'll do my best to take everything in stride.

Hey ho lets go.
My father has told me that going back to Montana may not be a bad idea. He has asked me to work for a few months and get things all caught and see where I am at. He is a wise man, but I can't help to think that he is calloused, cold...I feel that my mother may have hurt him a lot more than he is willing to admit. While traveling in the automobile and shared with me in detail the story of my youth in which I remember vaguely traveling at 3:30 looking for my mother. I will leave out said details for they are of my ears. But I must say, I empathized with my father. He hoped that mother would have changed and wanted the best for her Im sure, but of course there are 2 sides to every story and I know my mother thought of him as controlling and over bearing. This I can see and also relate...but, for a mother of 2 to think it was a good idea to gallivant around town several nights a week with her lady friends (one of which died, asphyxiation on her own vomit) while he blue collar husband stayed home to mind the kids worried to death whether she would make it home I feel is wrong. Also...this kind of sat with me. "Your mother talked a big talk she was saying this and that about lawyers and I only stayed with her for so long because I was worried she was going to take you kids, I didn't want that, and obviously she didn't want you kids since she made no effort to straighten herself up and try to get you guys, cause she just went back to partying." This of course plays into the insecurities a bit more than I want. But I'll get over it. I always do.